To be genuine and honest – recently, I had been struggling mentally. We are in the middle of a move; the baby is teething; I am working full time and caring for the said baby all while we’re in the middle of a global pandemic. My daily routine is mundane, repetitive, and exhausting
The height of my excitement was going to the grocery store.
I found myself at a low point. Feeling overwhelmed that I was doing so much but felt as though I was doing nothing simultaneously. I realized I hadn’t had a moment to myself or focused on what makes me feel good since the baby was born. As a mother, when you say you need time for yourself, you feel selfish. No one but me made me feel that way, but I couldn’t say “I need some me time” without feeling incredibly guilty.
One particularly rough day, my husband said, “why don’t you book a spin class in studio?” I love to spin, and he knows that. It’s a workout I enjoy. I love the loud music, the studio setting, the feeling I get when I’ve just done some serious high-intensity cardio. I hadn’t done spin in a studio since before I was pregnant so going back seemed a little daunting. With a nudge from Chris, I booked my first class post-partum. I was SO nervous. I knew I would be out of breath and struggling, but I also knew it would do wonders for me mentally.
When the time came, I was riddled with nerves, but I showed up anyway. I literally cried when I got on the bike (thank god it’s dark in the studio, and we have individual cubicles because of covid). I felt like me again. I was alone and able to focus on myself, to work on myself. The workout was TOUGH. I definitely wanted to give up multiple times throughout the class. But I stuck it out. When I finished the class, I cried again (I’m a crier and a weirdo). I was so happy! I felt so good. My heart was pumping, my face was purple, and I felt strong and refreshed.
Since then, I’ve made it a point to book two classes a week and try to get out and walk in the sunshine on the non-spin days. Adding these small “me moments” into my week has completely turned my mental health around. I am happier, healthier and realized I am not selfish for needing an hour to myself.
We’re all battling something, and sometimes it’s hard to pull ourselves out of the dark. I hope anyone who needs to hear it knows they are not alone, and you are worth digging deep and finding what can make you feel good again.