For as long as I can remember giving birth has been one of my greatest fears. Probably since the day I realized how babies actually come into this world, I’ve been petrified of the day I would give birth.
Over the years I’ve watched (not literally) my powerhouse female family and friends give birth to healthy, happy, beautiful babes and seen how they’ve been ” strong enough to bare their children then get back to business” (shoutout to Beyoncé), and even as easy as they all have made it look, I am TERRIFIED.
I’ve mentioned it in one of my last posts that, right now, my biggest challenge is getting my mind right. Something I was on my way to completely mastering with my tumor. The closer we get the harder I’m finding it to reel in my thoughts and remember that I am the master of this situation. My body was made for this and I can handle anything.
ANYWAY, while I really have to gear up my internal strength over these next 39 – gulp- days I’m enjoying pregnancy in all its glory, aka having the damn donut if I want the damn donut. While guilt free indulging here and there is definitely a major positive thing about being pregnant there is another major plus, the baby shower! I’ve explained before how I loathe any kind of showers and due to COVID things definitely looked a little different for mine which, actually, worked in a ‘shower haters’ favor! We did a drive by baby shower!
As crazy to think about it as it was, this was the first time many of my friends and family were actually seeing me pregnant! We set a time frame and told our guests to drive by between those hours. Then, when they arrived, I went down to their car (mask on) and grabbed my gift and passed them a favor. It was so nice to see everyone, even if it was for a short time. Everyone’s comfort level was different. Some of my guests felt comfortable coming in and seeing me open gifts while others politely remained in their cars, said hello and went about their day. I didn’t feel any less love because we weren’t in a restaurant setting. Our friends and family showed up for us and showered us the best they could in such a bizarre time. It went so well, I couldn’t have asked for better!
While I try to wrap my head around the fact that in order to enjoy him, I have to get him into this world first, I am so grateful for our village – and I hear it takes a whole one to raise a child.
Now, if only any of them could give birth for me, I’d be good to go!