I am completely a believer that “all things happen for a reason.” If we dig hard enough, in even the most inconvenient or upsetting situations, we can find a reason or a meaning for why things happen to us the way they do.
With that, I also completely trust the universe. I know, that no matter what is happening to me, is meant to happen to me and will lead me ultimately to exactly where I need to be.
When my Desmoid was found and I was in the awful in between stage of awaiting my pathology report I made the decision that from that point forward, I was giving it all to the universe. Whatever my results were going to be, were meant to be for me. Whatever was to happen next was written in the stars, good or bad, and the outcome was going to teach me something regardless.
Of course, when I was told I didn’t have cancer life changed for me. So much of who I was slipped away and a new version of myself, that is still evolving, is coming forward. I really love the path I am on and so I believe that was my lesson, I needed to humble myself and really see what was important in life. Learning all about the new person I am becoming really solidified for me that I needed a wake up call. The universe provided and I was able to find a lesson in my trauma.
This is something I obviously am still mastering, but truly believe my Desmoid gave me the courage to believe in the universe wholeheartedly. When you trust the universe, though, the beginning is ALWAYS the scariest part. It’s like you’re right in front of this huge change, or life altering decision or results of some kind and that’s when your faith in the universe is tested. The “why is this happening” moment. That is when it is scariest to trust the universe. I still have these moments of panic. It can be something as small as sitting in traffic when I need to get somewhere or something a bit more serious like gearing up for my next round of Doctor’s visits and MRI’s.
When the worst case scenario pops into your head is right when you need to trust the universe the most. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, it was meant to. Everything you experience is setting you up for something greater. We don’t know what is going to happen in the next month of our lives, the next year or even the next day or minute but we can be rest assured that whatever does happen was supposed to.
Through this I am able to now ask “what is this teaching me?” instead of “why is this happening to me?”
It’s not easy to let go and trust that even the bad things are blessings in disguise but when you do, life starts to make a lot more sense and handling the bad things become a bit more bearable.