September is Desmoid Tumor Awareness Month. Awareness of any disease is so important. Awareness brings attention which brings medical research and funding and hopefully will lead to more treatment options or even dare I say .. a CURE.
I made a promise to myself that I would make my blog public knowledge on my personal Instagram page in the month of September for this reason. As I’ve gone over a couple of times in my blog, I haven’t really made it public knowledge that I have this tumor. If someone I know stumbles upon my blog or Instagram, I am happy to answer their questions or discuss it with them. But, I typically don’t bring it up if I don’t have to.
Photo Credit: Desmoid Tumor Research Foundation
Now that the date is getting close to September I’m getting cold feet. I’m not ashamed of what I’m going through and I’m not trying to purposely keep it from people, I just think it’s still kind of personal to me? Is that silly?
For some reason, the thought of “strangers” reading my blog and dissecting my new world doesn’t bother me much, but people that I know reading all my thoughts, fears, highs and lows just makes me feel anxious. I think I’m just scared because so many of those who read my blog now get it, meaning the situation, and get me. They know what it’s like to have this foreign thing in your body and the pain it can bring. They know how anxious MRI’s regularly can make you, how annoying having to travel to see your oncologist every 3 months is, how important the results of scans are. My readers and Instagram friends (whom I’ve never met in real life) get me on a different level then those who have known me since elementary school.
So, friends, I need courage. I need the courage to say: HERE IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME VULNERABLE. HERE IS A SITUATION I AM IN THE PROCESS OF CHANGING. HERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS PERSONAL TO ME, BUT I AM SHARING WITH YOU ANYWAY.
Please let me know how you go about discussing your ailment. Tumor or not, how do you open up and allow yourself to let others know whats really going on?